"Your mouse has moved. Windows NT must be restarted for the change to take effect. Reboot now? [ OK ]"
   -- from a Slashdot post

Linux Infiltrates Windows 2000 Demo Written by Robert G. Werner on May 12, 2008 from the stuff-to-read dept. SILICON VALLEY, CA -- Attendees at the Microsoft ActiveDemo Conference held this week in San Jose were greeted by a pleasant surprise yesterday: Linux. Somehow a group of Linux enthusiasts were able to replace the Windows machine with a Linux box right before an "ActiveDemo" of Windows 2000. "I have no clue how they were able to pull off this prank," a Microserf spokesman said. "Rest assured, Microsoft will do everything to investigate and prosecute the Linux zealots who did this. Our bottom line must be protected." Read more... The Lawyerclsym Is Upon Us Written by Jon Splatz, Humorix Pundit and Social Commentator, on May 10, 2008 from the The-End-Is-Near dept. Big settlements involving $400 million claims will only become more common as the Lawyercrats seize more power. The insanity must end before society implodes. The single biggest enemy of Geeks is not Microsoft, or Big Brother, or even AOL. It's the American Bar Association. If intellectual property laws were enforced to the fullest extent possible by overzealous lawyers, absolutely no innovation would take place anywhere whatsoever. Attorneys are the middle-men of society, skimming off a percentage of each transaction. Read more... Boston Software Party Written by Bernhard Rosenkraenzer on May 09, 2008 from the stuff-to-laugh-at dept. BOSTON, MA -- Thousands of disgruntled Linux revolutionaries showed up at the Boston Harbor today to protest "taxation without representation" by the oppressive Microsoft Corporation. Thousands of pounds of Microsoft boxes, CD-ROMs, manuals, license agreements, promotional materials, and registration forms were dumped into the harbor during the First Annual Boston Software Party. Read more... Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Microsoft Shareholder's Children? Written by James Baughn on May 09, 2008 from the my-kingdom-for-a-funny-dept-name! dept. The Evil Monopoly will soon be a duopoly of MICROS~1 and MICROS~2 now that Judge Jackson has made his ruling. Geeks everywhere are shedding tears of joy, while Microsoft investors are shedding real tears. But not everybody is ecstatic about the ruling. "It dawned on me today that if Microsoft is broken up, we won't have anyone to bash anymore. We can have that," said Charlie Yogho, the founder of the new "Save Microsoft Now! Campaign". Read more... Treaty of Helsinki Signed Written by Bernhard Rosenkraenzer on May 08, 2008 from the stuff-to-read dept. HELSINKI, FINLAND -- A cease-fire in the flame war between Linux and FreeBSD has been reached. A group of two dozen Linux and FreeBSD zealots met in Helsinki to ratify a treaty bringing a temporary end to the hostile fighting between both camps. "Today is a good day for peace," one observer noted. "Now both sides can lay down their keyboards and quit flaming the opposing side on Usenet and Slashdot." Read more... BSOD Simulator Written by James Baughn on May 07, 2008 from the another-excuse-to-bash-microsoft dept. Users of Red Hat 9.1 are discovering a new feature that hasn't been widely advertised: a Blue Screen of Death simulator. By default, the bsodsim program activates when the user hits the virtually unused SysRq key (this is customizable) causing the system to switch to a character cell console to display a ficticious Blue Screen. Red Hat hails the bsodsim program as the "boss key" for the Linux world. Read more... DeCSS T-Shirt Used To Commit Piracy! Written by Dave Finton on May 06, 2008 from the another-excuse-to-bash-microsoft dept. College student Cody Potter stunned the world yesterday when he used a T-shirt with the printed DeCSS source code to illegally copy a DVD of "Star Trek XXI: We Promise This Is The Last One". Well, it wasn't the actual DeCSS source code. The shirt contained a Perl script which spits out a bash shell script which produces a GW-BASIC program which outputs a ROT13-encoded Python script that manufactures a Pig-Latin-encoded Java program that finally produces the real DeCSS C source code when executed. Read more... BSOD Simulator Written by Robert G. Werner on May 06, 2008 from the my-kingdom-for-a-funny-dept-name! dept. Users of Red Hat 8.1 are discovering a new feature that hasn't been widely advertised: a Blue Screen of Death simulator. By default, the bsodsim program activates when the user hits the virtually unused SysRq key (this is customizable) causing the system to switch to a character cell console to display a ficticious Blue Screen. Red Hat hails the bsodsim program as the "boss key" for the Linux world. Read more...

What is this? Humorix shows the lighter side of Linux, the open source operating system everyone and their brother are talking about. Jokes about Slashdot, Microsoft, and Tux Penguin are thrown in for good measure. See the About page for details. The fake news articles that appear here have been written by James Baughn or various contributors. If you would like to contribute a funny article, send it in! Past Articles May 2008 - The GPL Is Not Y2K-Compliant! - Red Hat Unveils New Ad Campaign - Jargon Coiner - The Movement Formerly Known As Open Source - Increased Electricity Consumption Blamed on Linux - Linux Drinking Game - Microsoft Acquires Nothing - Unobfuscated Perl Code Contest - The GPL Is Not Y2K-Compliant! - The Great Portal War - Throwing Windows Out The Window - Evolution Of A Linux User - Linux Ported to Homer Simpson's Brain - Affordable Virtual Beowulf Cluster Mailing List Join the Humorix Mailing List and receive the latest updates by mail. To subscribe, send a message to majordomo@mail.nl.linux.org with "subscribe humorix" in the body. Join the Vast Spy Network(tm) We don't let just anyone become an international Linux spy... we only let in people who pay US$14 for a Humorix T-shirt. Humorix Syndication Network(tm) The latest Humorix headlines are broadcasted to the my.userland.com and my.netscape.com portals, among others. You can also syndicate Humorix on your own website; see the About page for details. Slogans & One-liners Visit Humorix's collection of Linux and Microsoft slogans, one-liners, and quotes, such as Microsoft Zen - Become one with the blue screen. You can also download a fortune file containing these slogans along with a selection of condensed Humorix articles and brief Microsoft jokes. Humorix Button Netscape 4.x has a bunch of toolbar buttons that are rarely used. By hacking the .Xdefaults file, it's possible to transform the 'Home' or 'Shop' buttons into a convenient 'Humorix' button. Find out how. Other Humor A selection of humor on other sites: - Microsoft Pie - Loser Friendly - Microsoft Apps Ship With Trigger Locks - Linux Distros Surpass Users - You might be a Linux redneck if... - Slashdot Sigs - Microsoft's plans for penalties - NatesWinEmu Linux Webring Join the rapidly expanding Linux Webring or travel to: - the previous page - the next page - the index page - the statistics page - a random page Humorix Reruns The major TV networks don't seem to have a problem with broadcasting 50% repeated material, so we're taking advantage of this marketing scheme by showcasing some of our "classic" Humorix articles, including: Humorix: We're A Portal Too! Humorix isn't just a lame humor site, we're also a publicly traded company (Nasdaq: FAUX). Track our rise to power as we file for an IPO, unveil technology stolen from the future, deal with the Securities & Exchange Commission, undergo a wildly successful IPO, lose it all the next week, get sued by Microsoft, and, most recently, establish our own independent Pacific island nation. Linux Drinking Game A perfect excuse to drink mass quantities of alcohol, all in the name of Linux World Domination.