"It's Impossible To Lose Weight When You Live Next To A Dairy Queen" Says Columnist Holly Whitaker, See Page 6A

Minnesotan Freedom-Leader

Volume 49 Issue 88 Monday, May 12, 2008 Price $0.50

Flash Flood Wipes Out Junkyard, Neighbors Ecstatic
By Sue Rentchler
   _ ____ ___ _____ ___ ___ ____ _____ ____ ____ _____________ ___ _____ ______ ______ ___ _____ ____ ___ _ _____ ___ _______ ____ __ ________ ________ ____ _________ __ ____ ____ __ _____ ______ _______ ____ ___ __ ______ _____ ______ ___ _____ __ ___ ____ _______ ______ ___ _ _______ _______
   ____ ______ ___ _____ ____ ___ _ _____ ___ _______ ____ __ ________ _______ _____ ______ ___ _____ __ ___ ____ _______ ______ ___ _ _______ _____ ____ ___ _____ ___ ___ ____ _____ ____ ____ _____________ ___ _____ ___ __
   ____ ______ ___ _____ ____ ___ _ _____ ___ _______ ____ __ ________ _______ _____ ______ ___ _____ __ ___ ____ _______ ______ ___ _ _______ ________ ______ ___ _____ ____ ___ _ _____ ___ _______ ____ __ ________ _____ __

Housewife Invents Better Mousetrap, Patent Lawyers Beat A Path To His Door
An Investigative Report
   ____ ______ ___ _____ ____ ___ _ _____ ___ _______ ____ __ ________ _____ ____ ___ _____ ___ ___ ____ _____ ____ ____ _____________ ___ _____ ___ ____ ___ _____ ___ ___ ____ _____ ____ ____ _____________ ___ _____ _____
   ____ ______ ___ _____ ____ ___ _ _____ ___ _______ ____ __ ________ ________ ______ ___ _____ ____ ___ _ _____ ___ _______ ____ __ ________ _____ ____ ___ _____ ___ ___ ____ _____ ____ ____ _____________ ___ _____ ___ __
   ___ _____ ______ ___ _____ __ ___ ____ _______ ______ ___ _ _______ ________ ____ _________ __ ____ ____ __ _____ ______ _______ ____ ___ __ _____

Local Woman Invents Better Mousetrap, Patent Lawyers Beat A Path To His Door
Special to the Minnesotan Freedom-Leader
   ___ _____ ______ ___ _____ __ ___ ____ _______ ______ ___ _ _______ ________ ____ _________ __ ____ ____ __ _____ ______ _______ ____ ___ __ _______ ______ ___ _____ ____ ___ _ _____ ___ _______ ____ __ ________ ________ ______ ___ _____ ____ ___ _ _____ ___ _______ ____ __ ________ _______
   ____ ______ ___ _____ ____ ___ _ _____ ___ _______ ____ __ ________ _______ _____ ______ ___ _____ __ ___ ____ _______ ______ ___ _ _______ _______ _____ ______ ___ _____ __ ___ ____ _______ ______ ___ _ _______ ________ ____ _________ __ ____ ____ __ _____ ______ _______ ____ ___ __ _____

Austin University Study Finds Acme Bag-O-Rusty-Nails(tm) Caused 161 Deaths Last Year
A Special Report
   ____ ____ _________ __ ____ ____ __ _____ ______ _______ ____ ___ __ ____ ____ ___ _____ ___ ___ ____ _____ ____ ____ _____________ ___ _____ ______ ____ _________ __ ____ ____ __ _____ ______ _______ ____ ___ __ _____
   ____ ______ ___ _____ ____ ___ _ _____ ___ _______ ____ __ ________ ________ ____ _________ __ ____ ____ __ _____ ______ _______ ____ ___ __ ______ _____ ______ ___ _____ __ ___ ____ _______ ______ ___ _ _______ _______

Also in this issue:
  • Page 4A: Switzerland Invades Leichtenstein, 132 Killed
  • Page 6A: Richard Nixon Grade School To Require Uniforms, Students Plan To Strike
  • Page 9A: "Shakespeare Was Right: Let's Kill All The Lawyers" Says Columnist Elena Eriksson
  • Page 1C: Colts Safety Hunter Hetz Placed On Disabled List
  • Area Man Loses Life Savings In Las Vegas Gambling Junket
    "We'll be talking about this for years", exclaims observer.
       _ ____ ___ _____ ___ ___ ____ _____ ____ ____ _____________ ___ _____ ______ ____ _________ __ ____ ____ __ _____ ______ _______ ____ ___ __ ____ ____ ___ _____ ___ ___ ____ _____ ____ ____ _____________ ___ _____ ______ ______ ___ _____ ____ ___ _ _____ ___ _______ ____ __ ________ _______
       ____ ______ ___ _____ ____ ___ _ _____ ___ _______ ____ __ ________ ________ ____ _________ __ ____ ____ __ _____ ______ _______ ____ ___ __ ____ ____ ___ _____ ___ ___ ____ _____ ____ ____ _____________ ___ _____ _____

    Nuclear War Kills 6 Billion People, Only 3 Billion Roaches & 2 Newspaper Journalists Survive
    Exclusive Report
       ___ _____ ______ ___ _____ __ ___ ____ _______ ______ ___ _ _______ ________ ____ _________ __ ____ ____ __ _____ ______ _______ ____ ___ __ _____
       _ ____ ___ _____ ___ ___ ____ _____ ____ ____ _____________ ___ _____ ___ ____ ___ _____ ___ ___ ____ _____ ____ ____ _____________ ___ _____ _____ _____ ______ ___ _____ __ ___ ____ _______ ______ ___ _ _______ ________ ____ _________ __ ____ ____ __ _____ ______ _______ ____ ___ __ _____

    Michelle Gregory and Suzanne Gambon Declared "Town Drunks" By South Glade City Council
    "We'll be talking about this for years", exclaims observer.
       _ ____ ___ _____ ___ ___ ____ _____ ____ ____ _____________ ___ _____ _____ _____ ______ ___ _____ __ ___ ____ _______ ______ ___ _ _______ ________ ______ ___ _____ ____ ___ _ _____ ___ _______ ____ __ ________ ______
       _ ____ ___ _____ ___ ___ ____ _____ ____ ____ _____________ ___ _____ ___ ____ ___ _____ ___ ___ ____ _____ ____ ____ _____________ ___ _____ ___ ____ ___ _____ ___ ___ ____ _____ ____ ____ _____________ ___ _____ ______ ____ _________ __ ____ ____ __ _____ ______ _______ ____ ___ __ ____ __
       _ ____ ___ _____ ___ ___ ____ _____ ____ ____ _____________ ___ _____ ______ ______ ___ _____ ____ ___ _ _____ ___ _______ ____ __ ________ ________ ______ ___ _____ ____ ___ _ _____ ___ _______ ____ __ ________ _____ ____ ___ _____ ___ ___ ____ _____ ____ ____ _____________ ___ _____ ___ __

    "Why Does Everybody Hog The Left Lane On The Interstate?" Says Columnist Alvin Haché
       ____ ____ _________ __ ____ ____ __ _____ ______ _______ ____ ___ __ ______ _____ ______ ___ _____ __ ___ ____ _______ ______ ___ _ _______ ________ ______ ___ _____ ____ ___ _ _____ ___ _______ ____ __ ________ ________ ______ ___ _____ ____ ___ _ _____ ___ _______ ____ __ ________ _____ __

    National News... 5A
    Editorials... 9B
    Sports... 1B
    Weddings... 8A
    Food... 1C
    Finance... 4C
    Classifieds... 7B
    Real Estate... 3B
    Comics... 8B
    Today's Weather
    Blizzard
    High 33, Low 25
    Minnesotan Freedom-Leader is a publication of Mundy Corp.; © Copyright 2000.